We’ve all heard them, those ads for charitable organizations that want us all to dig into our pockets and sponsor a child in a developing country - or abused animals, or political prisoners, or, or, or……
It’s a good marketing strategy. Show footage of little kids in a state that makes us feel uncomfortable - digging in garbage heaps or wearing rags, not even bothering to brush off the flies that land on them. Then tell us how lucky we are, and how we can change these children’s lives, for only a few dollars a month. The whole effect is wrapped up by then showing us the same little ones, in tidy school uniforms or colourful play clothes. They are smiling, reading, playing. We’re told that they’ll get clean water, food, medical care, an education, and that their whole family or village will benefit too. How could we withhold these things from such precious children? It’s less than the cost of a daily cup of coffee (or is that an insurance ad, now? Hmmm, perhaps the similarity is not accidental…..)
The thing is, I think we want to do good. We want to reach out and make someone’s life better. We’re even happier when we get patted on the back for it, when we get letters and photos that prove we’re making a change for someone halfway around the world, when we’re told what a great difference we’re making in that person’s life.
But should we need all that attention to do good? Do we only choose to help if there’s a tangible, immediate & continued reward in it for us? How about just pleasing ourselves? How about just being able to smile to ourselves and know that we helped someone? How about just being happy that we’ve made someone else happy?
Some of you may remember a TV ad campaign from back in the 1970’s, where ordinary people were shown doing nice things like helping to carry groceries. The message of those ads was that there are opportunities all around you to help others: you don’t need to sign up for a monthly financial commitment, or to volunteer regularly at the local hospital/school/library/food bank to do good. If these things truly call to you, by all means, do them! But they aren’t the only way for us to “do good,” to live a life that includes some service.
Those of you who know me well, will know that I devoted a significant portion of my time to community service, from my very early teens until after the birth of my second child. I was proud to be a volunteer, and I’m still proud to know that I did good. I grew concerned, though, when the term “volunteerism” began to be tossed about.
How did we get from simply doing good, to an organized movement? How did we go from people simply feeling good about helping, to the point where companies were sending out donation forms in employee pay packets, all filled in with the “appropriate” level of contribution and lacking only the employee’s signature to make them legal?
Something was rotten in the state of Denmark, so to speak. There’s a lot more than stinks about volunteerism too, but I’ll leave that for another post - perhaps in another forum.
I don’t want to discourage those of you who volunteer each week for the local animal shelter, or who raise funds for medical research. I’d be the last one to say you’re not needed. But for a moment I’d like to invite you to give some consideration to the simple act of doing good. You don’t need to read a book about it, watch a movie, or put up a video on YouTube to publicize your efforts. You don’t need Oprah to feature you on her show, nor do you need to join an email loop for the specific purpose of discussing your random acts of kindness. And if you decide to keep a journal of all the good you do, I hope it’s a private thing, just for yourself. I hope you also write in it the good things that others do for you.
A dear friend of mine sings the praises of just about every person she’s ever met. Sometimes it seems a little over the top, but I’ve seen people look at each other through new eyes after being introduced by Barbara. Another really cool thing Barbara does is to “catch” people doing good. She hugs them and kisses them, she writes them little notes of thanks. She stops them to say they’ve made a difference in her life. Being fond of the English language and not one to toss all the efforts of my elementary teachers out the window, I rarely use this turn of phrase: but Barbara is one of the “goodest” people I know. The good she does is genuine, and she takes pleasure in doing it - in her own boisterous, chaotic, bordering on obsessive way. On my better days I try to be more like Barbara. On my best days I succeed. (There, I’ve made up for murdering a comparative!)
But let’s get back to that whole $10 a month and one coffee a day theme. Beyond opening doors for each other or helping a friend in need, beyond thanking the bus driver or wishing the shop clerk a good day, there is another way to do good. It’s simple: put your money where your heart is.
What do I mean by that? I mean this: if the TV footage of complete strangers has you digging into your wallet, it should be a more automatic gesture when it comes to folks you do know. Spend locally, support local tradespeople and small businesses. You don’t need to be told where your $10 is going to know your neighbours have rents or mortgages to pay, that they have operating costs and salaries, and families at home depending on them to bring home the bacon. Before the era of the NGO marketing campaigns we just knew these things, we realized them without having to be told, and we did what we could to contribute to the well being of our communities. It wasn’t about tax shelters or guilt, nor about glamour and being patted on the back for our “sacrifice”.
I find myself realizing today that I probably don’t do enough to pass this lesson on to my kids. Sure, we patronize the local dépanneur instead of choosing to buy things like milk & bread at the grocery store. Sure, we make choices like joining the small, local dojo instead of finding a bigger martial arts school somewhere else. And we don’t just spend money at these places, we become emotionally involved with them. We make friends of the owners, share job leads with their children, encourage our kids when they want to give them handmade cards and cookies at the holidays. But sometimes I wonder if the girls understand why we do these things. Perhaps it bears some discussion in the coming weeks….
I said yesterday that I want to teach my children to live right, and to help other people. This is part of that lesson in right living: that when a person does something mechanically because of a moment’s guilt or because it it expected of them, and then they forget it, they are just one of the minions of “volunteerism.” When a person makes choices out of kindness, there is no guilt and no need for rewards. There is also no feeling that the giver is superior to the recipient. Everyone benefits, everyone derives happiness from the act. We are part of a living community.
That is service. That is the value I wish for my children to learn and to live. That is what I learned from watching my parents.
This work was created by Ruby of Freehold 2, and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 2.5 Canada License.
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