This morning was something of a triple whammy for me, so I thought it was worth mention. Almost first thing this morning I listened to a childhood friend of my sister’s talk about her own rape at age 12 on the TV news, in aid of Sexual Assault Awareness Month (SAAM.) We’ve all heard about young girls being assaulted but it touched me a little deeper to think of that girl keeping her secret when I walked past her in the corridor between classes, when she hung out with my sister and their friends, and when we were went to school dances. She says she felt for a number of years that she was “damaged goods” and didn’t seek help because she thought she was the only one in her situation.

A visitor to my blog commented on my story about Noellee Mowatt, the pregnant teenager who was jailed last month to ensure she would testify against her boyfriend in a spousal abuse trial. While the visitor rightly pointed to the damage that can be caused by a false accusation, I strongly suspect this is a case of a woman who wants the police to intervene to make the beating stop, but who is reluctant to testify against her abuser. People who work with victims of abuse stated that the treatment Noellee Mowatt received is likely to cause victims to avoid seeking police assistance in the future.

Finally, a dear friend from my own childhood posted a link to her article on what to do if you suspect a co-worker is a victim of abuse. Angie was a victim of spousal abuse herself, as a young adult. Her advice reflects that experience and is also intelligent and practical. I hope she’ll forgive my use of the word “victim” here, because if there’s anyone I can think of who has faced challenges in her life and (more than) successfully overcome them it is Angie Mohr. But I just can’t think of another word that adequately expresses what a person is when they experience domestic violence first hand.

Every one of these three stories has something to teach us. I hope my readers will read them, discuss them, and find their own personal ways to act on them even if it is in a very small way.

During my gerontology training we were taught that it is important to enable people who are going through a difficult situation in their lives - I think the expression used these days is “empower” (”enable” having acquired some negative connotations from its very different use in the 12-step community.) The key to that is the phrase, “How can I help?” It’s a good thing to remember - and use….

For anyone in a violent relationship: Please read accountant Angie Mohr’s advice on protecting yourself physically & financially.

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